Convincing Mom & Dad

Moving Elderty Parents

It’s one of the most difficult decisions of your life…

For many adult children who were thinking of moving elderly parents, the three words “assisted living facility” seems foreign, cold and impossible to utter. This is probably one of the hardest decisions a child will ever have to make. Many seniors unrealistically believe they can take care of themselves for the rest of their lives. And that’s where their children or other family members can be instrumental in identifying the problem and instigating change.


Before you get a disturbing call from a parent about a sudden illness or injury, you must have a plan and you must take action! Take the opportunity to share your concerns with your parent(s). Often when the subject comes to moving them away from their home, you will be met with sharp resistance. “No,” is the normal response. “I’m not moving!”

Those can be the most difficult words a concerned child may hear their elderly parent say. So how does a worried family member convince a recalcitrant parent that moving to a long-term care facility is in their best interest?

Don’t be among the Ninety-five percent of families who wait for the crisis to occur. The result? Confused elders, disorganized yet well-meaning children, and a family in chaos.


Caregiving is a family affair, so gather your brothers, sisters, children and uncles and aunts together to address an ailing loved ones needs. Have a meeting and discuss the problem, without the parent(s) present to identify the problem and the potential solutions. When it comes to approaching a parent about making a move, it’s vital that all siblings and family members are on the same page. It’s crucial that all the adult siblings are giving their parent(s) the same general messages. It often only takes one disgruntled child who urges a parent to stay in his or her home to make placement nearly impossible.


No matter how smoothly the process goes, children often retain guilt about moving elderly parents to a long-term care facility. Regardless of whether you promised to never put your parent(s) in a nursing home, the decision about placement must be based on what’s best for them at a given time.

Often, putting a parent in a nursing home is the most loving act that a child can do because it improves the quality of the parent’s life from medical and social perspectives. Nursing homes vary in quality but are not snake pits. Parents often thrive in them, to their great surprise.